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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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According to official statistics, NHS bureaucrats are proliferating six times as quickly as nurses. The number of managers went up almost 12% last year, while nurses increased by less than 2% per cent, and the number of health visitors actually fell despite the vast increase in elderly people needing their help. There are now four times as many managers as health visitors.
 
Since Labour came to power, the number of managers has almost doubled, partly as a result of the need to monitor stringent Whitehall targets on waiting times. Yet Labour's 1997 manifesto promised to “raise spending in real terms every year - and spend the money on patients not bureaucracy”.
 
The figures come from the NHS Information Centre, and reveal that there are now more than 1.4 million people working in the Health Service, making it one of the largest employers in the world. However productivity has fallen by 3% since 2001, largely because of the increase in staff and over-generous pay awards to senior managers.
 
These are some of the raw figures: in the last year ...
 
• The total number of workers in the NHS rose by 4.6%
 
• The number of qualified nurses rose by 1.9%
 
• The number of junior doctors rose by 4.7%
 
• The number of GPs rose by 6.8%
 
• The number of consultants rose by 5.8%
 
• The number of midwives rose by only 2.7% (that was 650 new midwives, against a shortfall of over 3,000 in maternity wards across the country)
 
• The number of health visitors fell by 4.1%
 
The number of managers rose by 11.9%
 
A spokesman for the Department of Health said: 'Increases in the number of NHS managers in the past have supported the service in meeting challenging priorities, including delivering financial turnaround, record low waiting times, improved access to care and the lowest ever rate of healthcare associated infections.'
 
“I've seen Elvis,” he continued, “the moon is made of cheese and there are fairies up Gordon Brown's bottom.”
 
Meanwhile, the service from the NHS is crap. Oh yes, I know there will be dozens of Daily Mail readers ready to tell heart-warming stories of how the local hospital cleared up their aunt's bunions, but the fact is, it's total crap. Here's why ...
 
• we may have “record low waiting times”, but in the real world it still takes months to get to see a specialist and one could easily die in the time it takes to actually get some treatment. An acquaintance went to his GP on the 5th March this year with symptoms suggesting possible bowel or prostate cancer. His appointment with a specialist is not until 26th May.
 
This is not good enough. If I want my car fixed, the local Renault garage will see to it inside a week. If I need a wasp's nest destroyed, our local pest man (private, not council) will call the very next day. I have three times had to take injured people into hospitals in France. At no time did we wait more than ten minutes. If I'm ill, I'm ill now, and I want to see a doctor now. Anything less is not good enough. Hardened by years of neglect and poor service, most of us seem to have lost sight of how things ought to be.
 
• the much-trumpeted “financial turnaround” meant that in 2009 the NHS had a surplus of £1.7 billion. This is a service that is funded by the taxpayer for the benefit of the taxpayer, in which funds are meant to be spent on providing the very best healthcare for the taxpayer and his family. Instead, they're squirrelling cash away and letting it sit in bank accounts. Well, I suppose banks have to make a profit - their bonuses have to come from somewhere.
 
• This “improved access to care” is, as any man knows, a myth. Women get called in to have their tits felt and their bits scraped, but men can just rot as far as NHS preventive medicine is concerned. There is, it is true, a national screening programme for bowel cancer. It was supposed to be up and running by 2009 so that all men over 60 would be tested every two years. In my area at least it hasn't started yet and when I enquired I was told I would probably have to wait another two years. My bottom could have deliquesced and dropped out by then.
 
There is a phrase that gets bandied about - “well man clinic”. Have any of you ever been to a “well man clinic”? I've never seen or heard of one in my neck of the woods. Five years ago I paid the local private hospital £400 for a “well man check”. It was thorough, efficient, took the best part of a day and included a nice lunch. Money well spent, I thought, and a clean bill of health. Isn't this the kind of service we ought to be expecting from the NHS? Isn't that what it's for, to stop us getting ill?
 
• The “lowest ever rate of healthcare associated infections” is great to hear about. I'm sure it will come as a great consolation to all the patients and their families at the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital, which was entirely closed to visitors for some time in January because of an outbreak of a “healthcare associated infection”, and partially closed long before that. Technicians', therapists' and psychiatrists' visits to patients were severely curtailed because of the risk of carrying the infection from ward to ward, and it was only through the kind flexibility (for which read “turning a blind eye”) of ward staff that we were able to visit a relative before he died.
 
Great service from the NHS, that. Go into hospital to get cured of one illness, and they'll give you another one to go with it.
 
Buy one, get one free.
 

 
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